


A Kingdom Far From Here

by kaeorin



Series: Loki's Lullabies [138]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, In Public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeorin/pseuds/kaeorin
Summary: When the reality of the world around you becomes too large and crushing, Loki is happy to offer you an escape.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Loki's Lullabies [138]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678240
Comments: 14
Kudos: 117





	A Kingdom Far From Here

**Author's Note:**

> I went grocery shopping yesterday and it kinda messed me up. When I got home, I ended up writing something that I kinda wanted for myself, so I’m really sorry if this comes across as too self-indulgent for you. This is another lullaby about the current pandemic (because it is still RAGING here in the United States). If you’re somewhere where citizens listened to scientists and looked out for each other, I’m sorry if this doesn’t ring true for you but maybe take a moment to fucking pray for us as our government and our fellow citizens actively try to murder us? (Also I’m going back to teaching school in-person this September, so...you know...prayers and incantations and good vibes are heartily welcomed.)

Going out into the world lately had a way of messing with your head. Or...maybe it wasn’t the “going out” part so much as it was the “coming home” part. Once upon a time, you’d been more than happy to spend entire afternoons wandering through the city. You liked to make your way to Central Park and just hang out there for ages, watching the locals and the tourists alike. Sometimes you’d happen upon an artist set up on one of the paths through the park and you’d settle yourself a little ways away from them and watch them work for a while. You liked ducking into some of the bodegas on the street, and the pizza places, and all the quickly-vanishing little shops just to browse sometimes. Of course New York had its fair share of creepy people, or people who just made you feel kind of uneasy and made you want to head home a little earlier than you would have liked, but, for the most part, walking through the streets had always been one of your favorite ways to spend free afternoons.

And now things had changed so drastically. 

You really only went out when it was absolutely necessary. You bought huge amounts of groceries on your trips to the store, and you even relied a little more heavily now on the various delivery services that would bring things directly to you. It wasn’t even really your fear of the pandemic that kept you penned in—it was...other people. When you went out, it was like you were suddenly so much more aware of the people around you. Since you’d lived here for so long, you’d gotten used to streets and shops that crawled with people. But now they got too close for your comfort. So many of them didn’t wear masks, or wore masks improperly and rendered them pointless. It felt like you had to be on high alert whenever you went out in public, both to keep their germs off of you and to keep your own germs to yourself, just in case.

You hated the feeling you got when you got back home. After you put everything away and washed your hands and hung up your mask, you just felt...drained. Sometimes you grew irritable and snappish with Loki, which was especially awful because he was stuck here with you and none of this was his fault. He offered to go out for you, but you couldn’t stand the idea of asking him to run errands for you. Every once in a while, he slipped out anyway, or he’d tell you that he was going for a walk and ask if you wanted him to bring back dinner or anything. It was hard to begrudge him the single opportunity he had to get out of this tiny space, but you only ever made requests of him when he got that particular Edge in his eyes.

You were running low on a few of your pantry staples, so you also ended up grabbing a bunch of other things to make the trip feel more worth it. Even before all this, you’d often shopped with your headphones in, which you also did this afternoon, and the music playing in your ears did a little bit to help you stay focused even as you felt that same small part of your brain start to rear up with anxiety. A lot of that was just physical. Rationally, you knew that you were taking every effort to keep yourself and others safe from the bug going around and that you had very little to freak out about. But your body still wasn’t really used to wearing a mask out in public, so something about it messed with your mind. It was frustrating to deal with all that while keeping yourself properly-covered, only to look out at the others in the shop and see how few of them offered the same consideration. But you couldn’t do anything to change that. You could only remind yourself that _you_ were doing _your_ best.

As always, you put things away as soon as you got home and then washed your hands. When all of that was finished, you filled a glass with water and went to collapse onto the sofa. This exhaustion was new and frustrating. All the new things that you had to keep track of while out in public, they absolutely drained you. By now you’d come to accept, more or less, that the days when you went shopping weren’t going to be good for much else because you were going to be so weary afterwards. But it still didn’t feel _good_. A normal, healthy person in the prime of their life should not feel like this after venturing out to a single shop.

Loki was on the other end of the couch, scrolling through something on your computer. It took some time to get used to _that_ , to seeing him look so normal and human, and it still made you smile a little. He greeted you with a much-larger smile than your own and reached out to take your hand when you sat down beside him.

“You did it,” he said softly. You pushed aside the sharp little voice that told you that he shouldn’t have to congratulate you for living life. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks.” It was hard, but you were pretty sure that you didn’t let too much of your self-loathing creep into that single syllable. Rather than casting about for anything else to add, you squeezed his hand. He went back to whatever it was that he was doing before you got home and you alternated between sipping your water and resting your eyes. It would be silly to take a nap in the middle of the day. Your shopping trip certainly had not taken _that_ much out of you. But it had taken _something_. Maybe you wanted to lean in to Loki and allow yourself to take comfort in his mere presence. He was good about allowing you to do that. Stress and uncertainty and just...everything about the world around you had really made you so much more clingy lately than you truly liked to admit. You wouldn’t have blamed him for being irritated by it sometimes, or at least for saying something to you in that quietly-amused tone of voice he sometimes used, which nonetheless absolutely overflowed with affection. 

But he never did.

After a while, you gave in to your desires and scooted a little bit closer to him, folding your legs up onto the couch beneath you. He let go of your hand only so that he could put his arm around your shoulder, and then he kissed your forehead. Warmth and gratitude flooded through you. You felt the way he moved his fingers against your shoulder, almost like he was trying his best to give you an awkward little sitting-down sideways massage, and you had to swallow hard around the lump in your throat. You hid your face against his chest even as you tightened your fingers in his shirt. 

“You are too good to me.” Your voice was ragged, a little rough, but audible enough, you supposed, if the sound that Loki made was any indication. He tsked once, quietly, and turned to press his forehead against the side of your head. 

“There is no such thing as ‘too good’ when it comes to you. If I had my way, you would be clad in silks and furs and taken care of by a team of adoring servants. Myself included.” You didn’t have to open your eyes to know that he was smiling now. “You would never have to worry about a single thing ever again, and instead you could spend your days with me, or by yourself if you preferred, doing only the things that made you happiest.”

On another day, hearing him talk like that might have made you uncomfortable, but you were just exhausted enough to let yourself settle in a little more solidly against him and sigh. “Loki, that sounds lovely, except I’m not really sure about the furs.”

He laughed, and you relished the way it vibrated through his chest. “Alright, then, no furs. You can pick your own clothing, but it will be exactly the way you want it and I’ll hold you just like this while you wear it.”

“Mm...” You rubbed your face against him again and spread your fingers out so you could take in more of the feeling of his belly. You liked being able to feel each breath he took. “And there’s no grocery shopping, right? And no pandemic?”

As he often did, he played along. He did not feel the need to step away from you by teasing you about the ways you added to the fantasy he spun. He did not make you feel like something less than himself. “Absolutely not. We shall employ very well-paid farmers to grow most of our food, and anything they cannot grow, we can trade for. And everyone is hale and hearty and no one will ever need to worry about disease.”

You let yourself slip, a little, into this lovely fantasy world which he was building for you. “And you will be the king of this land, and all of your subjects will be as madly in love with you as I am. No one will ever make you feel the way you felt in Asgard.” That was vital to you. He hadn’t told you a _lot_ about his home, but...it was enough. 

He kissed your head again and again and tightened his arm around you until it was just short of crushing. It took him a moment to speak, but you didn’t dare lift your head to look at him, just in case he needed a moment. You heard him draw in a breath, and when he did speak, he did so quietly. “And you will be my queen? And rule beside me and allow me to love you and look after you in all the ways that I long to do?”

You smiled despite yourself, and despite the way it was becoming harder for you to stay awake and alert. You hummed your agreement. “And we’ll live happily ever after.”

“That sounds perfect.”

But no. If you were less sleepy, you might have protested. Because he was wrong. _That_ didn’t sound perfect; _this_ was perfect. Sitting here, together, in quiet adoration? But you were too far gone to argue. You slipped into a peaceful doze there in Loki’s arms, and he held you all the while.


End file.
